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127,766 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

bearfluff:

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

(Source: bearzerky)


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328,038 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

earthnation:

my room isn’t messy it’s grunge


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403,672 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride
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442,499 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

thisisemobuddy:

zuky:

mishachu:

funeralfrost:

Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.

starring helena bonham carter as johnny depp

Co-starring Johnny Depp as Helena Bonham Carter.

image


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365,740 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.


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564,030 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago


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102,883 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

shavingryansprivates:

jrdyn:

shavingryansprivates:

s cience tumblr why the hoobly boobly

Tectonic plates

thank You


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165,790 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

daringdaffodil:

Janelle’s handy decision-making flowchart 
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280,269 notes   -   Posted 5 hours ago

spaceandweed:

#Classic
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4,599 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

victory-sashes:

FUCK I JUST SPAT OUT MY FUCKING RAMEN
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391,246 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

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